"There is no music in a rest, but there is the making of the music in it." - Streams In the Desert
This morning as I was pulling clothes for Goodwill and prepping for tomorrow the line that kept running through my head is "This is not the end of the story". You know when you are watching a movie and the character is facing what seems to be an insurmountable challenge and you wonder how in the world he or she will manage to get themselves out of this predicament? Well that's a little of what I feel like these days except the problem is that I can't quite identify the challenge that I am facing and I have absolutely no clue as to what the next chapter of the story is going to look like.
I am one of those people who always has a plan, I always know how the story is supposed to play out. I knew for twelve years that I would move to New York one day, and the little snow globe I gazed dreamily into each day helped keep my dream in focus.
"People so often look with longing into a daydream future, while ignoring the importance of the present. we're all in danger of thinking, "Some day I shall be fulfilled. Some day I shall have the courae to start another life which will develop my talent" without ever considering the very practical use of that talent today in a way which will enrich other people's lives, develop the talent, and express the fact of being a creative creature." - What Is Hidden Art
After twelve wild years in Seattle finally came my post "New York City: Dreams Come True" followed by lists upon lists and a fantastic bon voyage party. In August 2012, I moved to the city of my dreams and scored a job "every girl would kill for" working as a Marketing Manager for a fashion stylist on Madison Avenue. During the past six months I have made some amazing friends, met eccentric artists and shop owners, hosted a tweed adventure in the West Village and spent weekends exploring Cobble Hill, Boerum Hill and so many other magical neighborhoods in New York.
I have learned that I can survive in this non-stop city regardless of hurricanes, being stuck in the subway at West 4th at 3:30am, or living in a shoebox. Yet during this time I have also discovered that some of what I value most is at times in short supply in this city. When I returned home to Seattle at Christmas (after one of the most stressful months of my life) I found myself doing a lot of soul searching... I missed being with my family, friends, and countless little things which I had taken for granted (such as a decent cup of coffee). My thoughts over vacation inevitably turned to dread about returning to my job (which by this point had become a sort of Devil Wears Prada situation) and how I wasn't sure what the future held for me.
A couple of days after my return to New York, much to my relief I lost my job. It's weird I have never been "let go" before in my career and I can't begin to describe how humiliating it was.. yet I see that being "let go" was grace. I didn't have to spend any more time in a situation that was really rather unhealthy and provided no room for growth. After a month of submitting my resume to East and West Coast openings, discussions with my parents and friends, I have decided to take a step back to re-strategize. New York with all of it's constant activity is not exactly a quiet haven so I am moving back to Seattle on Friday.
"If you're willing to do something that might not work, you're closer to being an artist." - Seth Godin
I am so incredibly thankful for this past season in New York where I have learned a lot about myself and my creative gifts. As for my future I honestly have no clue where I will be in six months to a year. I do know that Abba has always guided my path, that even with all of its twists and turns, I wouldn't have it any other way.
"Out of gross darkness, a light will shine.. For I will make my will known to you, and you will no longer move haltingly, you shall move swiftly and surely. You may not know what I am doing as yet, but you will know hereafter.." - Come Away My Beloved
"Consecration is the act of continually separating myself from everything except that which God has appointed me to do." - My Utmost of His Highest
Photo By: Andrew Nielson